Wednesday, October 01, 2014

Capture Your Grief 2014

Last year I participated in an event of sorts called "Capture Your Grief".  And it was amazing.  And healing.  And it made me dig inside me where I hadn't wanted to venture after Kale died.  I shared many pictures on facebook, and short snipits about the subject of the day.

This year, I want to take it a step further.  Which is why, after many months of NOT blogging, I'm going to blog.  I'll wait for the cheering to stop. ;)  I decided to do it this way so I can dig a little deeper, and really get the most of this event.

So here it is.  Capture Your Grief 2014.

Today's subject is sunrise.  This morning, this is what I got.  To be totally honest, the sun doesn't come up over those mountains.  It's a little to the south a bit, but I can't see that area through the houses and trees, so I took a picture of what I could see.  

It was cold this morning!  Fall is most certainly here, and by the looks of the mountains some might even think winter is here.  It was interesting to me this morning, when my alarm went off at 7am (which I understand isn't early for everyone, but it's early for ME, and it's very difficult getting up to get K-girl off to school at that time) I didn't feel the tired crankiness I usually feel.  I didn't moan and try to push Matt out of bed (which never works anyway).  I did hit snooze and lay in bed for a while longer, since I hadn't heard any children awake yet.

Carly Marie posted on her site about Day 1:  "Send some love out to everyone else in the world who is grieving the death of a child and remember those gone before us who were made to grieve in silence"

I could feel that this morning. I could feel the peace and love others were sending out and it was wonderful. It truly made for the start of a good day. I spent a few minutes talking to Kale in my head, as I'm known to do, before the kids were desperate for breakfast.

I was reminded of last year, when I was dreaded winter coming because there was no headstone for Kale yet, and it was extremely hard for me to feel like he had no recognition yet.  This year, I don't feel that.  I don't know if it's because his headstone is in place, or I'm more at peace with his place in our lives.  He is acknowledged in our family and talked about constantly.  Yes, it hurts a little when someone thinks my baby is a "trigger" and they don't think he should be mentioned, but I don't let it bother me anymore.  Those who mean the most to me don't mind me talking about Kale, they even bring him up so I CAN talk about him, even when they've heard everything there is to hear about him! And my dear children, K-girl who prays and tells her Heavenly Father "thank you for my two brothers".  THAT'S why I'm at peace, because Kale holds a special part in our family that cannot be shaken by outside forces.

1 comment:

  1. Awesome post. So glad to see you blogging, Krystal.