Monday, March 15, 2010

(insert title here)

Sometimes I don't know what to title things. I've always had a hard time with that, even with a creative writing degree, I struggled with titling everything I wrote.

Obviously, I still have that problem.

anyway, I just wanted to post a few pictures of Martin. He is doing so great, and so many things have already happened since he was born, that I don't even know where to start half the time. So I did what I'm prone to do: start another blog (like I need ANOTHER blog. . . .)

martins-journey.blogspot.com

I'm keeping track of everything there, day by day, his progress and setbacks, the things that change, and of course, posting LOTS of pictures. It's pretty much going to turn into a journal for his time spent and the NICU, and as he's growing up.

And on that note, yes, I'll be posting to Katryn's blog soon too. :) (ps-that one is private, so if you want an invite leave your email address in the comments)

One of the huge things that's happened that I didn't think would happen for a while is they let us touch him. I couldn't believe it when they asked if we wanted to stick our hands in there and touch him! Of course we did!! What kind of question is that?! It was completely surreal to be able to touch our little boy. They taught us the right way to touch him. We can't stroke or caress his skin, like one would want to with such a fragile little thing. We have to apply pressure and keep our hands still. It's hard to do that the first time, and not feel like I'm' going to hurt him.

They also taught us when he's cranky to kind of push his legs up in our hand, and apply some pressure on his head to mimic the position he was when he was in the womb. It was amazing to see how fast that worked!! he calmed down right away.

They also let us hold him on sunday!! I about fell over when they pulled him out to hand to me. He's so small my two hands can support his body completely. But it was wonderful to just hold him. They wrapped us up in warm blankets, to help keep his temperature up. He was cranky, and it was hard not to be able to find a way to comfort him. But it was still nice to hold my baby boy. I wasn't expecting this moment to come for a few more weeks.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

onto a new adventure

I can't sleep. I laid in bed for about 2hours, just thinking and decided perhaps if I get my thinking out of my head and written down I can sleep.

We weren't expecting a day like today (well, yesterday now, as I'm slow in getting it posted). it started out like every other day, I woke up at 7am, with my stomach growling. Breakfast wasn't coming for another hour, hour and 1/2. so I played around online and watched TV. My CNA came in and checked vitals at 8am, right on cue, and then breakfast showed up. Raspberry pancakes, bacon, fruit, and juice. Awesome. I love almost all the breakfasts they serve here. Almost.

at about 9:15 I was called for my daily NST--Non Stress Test. They hook me up to 2 monitors, to check for contractions, and 1 to monitor baby's heart-rate. This kid, being the stinker that he is already, right when they had almost enough tracking for him to pass had a large deceleration in his heart-rate. he has decels fairly regularly actually, and they just keep me on the monitors for about another 45 minutes.

But then he kept dropping. The nurse showed it to the doctor and they decided to send me to labor and delivery for some extending monitoring. Not a big deal, last time they sent me, I was back in my room 8hours later.

This time I was back in my room 10 hours later, with a baby in NICU, and my left leg numb from an epidural that only worked on one side.

We weren't expecting that at all, we had just reached our half-way point goal of 36 days in the hospital and 36 more until I was 34 weeks. I didn't think I would make it to 34 weeks, just one of those feelings I had. Although I did expect to go farther than 29weeks, that's for sure.

After I had been in the labor and delivery room for about an hour and 1/2, I realized the pressure I was having on my side (that I have been having on and off for a while) was coming at regular 7-8 minute intervals. But the monitor wasn't picking it up. I told the nurse about them, and she repositioned the tracers and voila! Steady contractions started showing up. they weren't really bothersome for about the first 2-3 hours. Then they started to get painful and closer together. I opted for some IV pain medication, to take the edge off. Didn't really take much of an edge off, and at that point, I think I was about 1cm dilated. That's pretty much nothing, I was disappointed.

a little while later (2-3 hours? I'm not sure) I felt some pressure and they checked me. I was about 4cm dilated. Good grief, at that point I already HAD Katryn. I had a feeling it was going to be a long labor, and I had no prep for a natural birth like I had with Tryn, and I had been in bed for 5 weeks. I had no energy for a long labor. Shot, I hadn't walked more that 5 feet at any given time. Sitting in a wheelchair for more than 30 minutes made me tired!! I was very very weak, and will be for a while I reckon.

I opted for an epidural. I was in tears everytime I had a contraction. I had tingly sensations all over my body, and I think I was freaking myself out a little bit that this labor was going to be long and hard.

At about 6:15pm, they came and gave me the epi. My left side went numb, and my right toes and part of my calf went slightly numb. It was rather frustrating, because all my contractions have been mainly on my right side, so I was still feeling everything pretty strong. as soon as he was done, the doctor (and like 5 residents) came and checked me and told me I was at a 10 and the head was on it's way out.

Things went really fast after that point. to me it feels like it was 5 minutes. Matt says it was longer. I'm not sure if I believe him. We were rushed into the operating room, which has windows to the NICU that they pass the baby through. I pushed twice and he came right out. It was an easy birth, I required nothing after, no stitches or anything, which was wonderful. The hardest part was I got to see one little body part before he was taken away.

Emotions kind of took over me at point. I started crying, and I don't know why. I was shaking uncontrollably. I think was just overwhelmed by everything that was happening, and not quite as prepared as I thought I was. research just doesn't cut it when you actually end up in the situation. The real thing is completely different.

Matt was able to go in after a little while to see him. As soon as they had him stable, he went in and took a few pictures for me, since I had to wait about 2 hours. Then they had to kick him out to do some more things.

When I finally got in to see him, he was doing so great. He's so small. We weren't able to touch him, and I actually wasn't able to get out of the wheelchair. but he looked good and strong. He has to be a strong boy after all that has happened with this pregnancy, he couldn't be anything BUT a fighter. He has an IV in his had, and a few tubes in his belly button, and a few down his throat. They're helping him stay hydrated, keep his stomach inflated a little bit, and his lungs as well so they don't collapse from the pressure of his ribs.

it's just such a miracle that he's here already. We weren't expecting him yet, but we're so grateful that he's doing good. There are still so many thoughts going through my head, which is why I couldn't sleep, my mind just wouldn't shut down. I'm still overwhelmed by it all and it hasn't quite kicked in that I have my second baby here.

So here he is: Martin David B
Date: Friday March 12 , 2010 @ 29 weeks gestation
Time: 7:00pm (and 56 seconds according to matt)
Weight: 2lbs 15oz
Height: 16inches


And now we get to start a new adventure, because after all, this is what living like this does.