Saturday, February 20, 2010

A small request

Dear friends and family, and everyone out there who has my blog linked on their blog:

I like to keep my blog somewhat anonymous. I purposely try to not post things like what city I live in, my last name, other's last names, or information that could make it easy to figure out exactly who I am, and where I'm at. I'm not perfect at it, but I do try so I can protect my family a little bit from the wonderful world of their lives being on public display online.

If you could please check my listing on your blog roll, and if you are using my last name, will you please edit it out? You could post it as "Krystal B" or the title of my blog, but I ask that you please don't use my last name, and support me in my choice to not publicly use my last name online. I love that you have me linked to your blog! and I love finding more blogs from blog hopping that way!

Thank you!

ps-I am in no way calling anyone out, and am not trying to offend, but just keep my anonymity.

The 'real' adventure

I just wrote about the start of this wonderful bedrest I'm on. Now I'm going to write about day 2, because it was something else. Although the first day was pretty intense, this day was too!

At about 5:30am, the night nurse came into my room and asked me "are you feeling your contractions?" I told her no, because I wasn't it. But apparently I was contracting pretty good. The doctor on call from my office, the same one as the day before, came into my room and started talking with me. I was still pretty out of it, I was on magnisum sulfate, had taken a sleeping pill, and my mind was still trying to wrap around the entire situation.

The doctor told me that they weren't comfortable with my contractions, and they were going to transfer me to another hospital. But the hospital is their 'chain' didn't want me, because I was only 24 weeks! so the doctor told me another hospital would take me. This hospital HAS the means to take care of a 24weeker, and is connected (not next too, but CONNECTED) to probably the BEST children's hospital is the west.

And then he gave me the kicker: "Because your last labor was so fast, and if this baby decided to come now, it would be even fast because you don't have to dilate as much since the baby is so much smaller, we can't risk sending you by ambulance because the baby could come during the ride. We're life-flighting you to the hospital." He checked me one more time, and I was still completely closed, so whatever contractions they were picking up they weren't causing me to dilate. But you don't risk anything when it comes to a preemie, I understand that.

if I hadn't been so out from the cursed mag, I think my jaw would have hit the floor. He told me they would be there in about 1/2 hour. I called matt at his parents house, and told him, and called my parents and told them since Katryn would need to be dropped off at their house for the day, and then I just prepared myself.

They were fast when they got there. Very fast. I was put on a gurney (I think) and strapped down. The had monitors all over me still to keep track of everything, and they wheeled me out at around 6:30am. Matt had shown up right before I left, just enough to give me a kiss and climb back in his car to drive up to the hospital.

I don't remember much about the flight, except that I wanted to look out the window, and I sure couldn't see anything. The ob nurse on the flight was amazing. She was one of those nurses that I want to have every day (after having some bad nurses, like the one who didn't get me ANYTHING after giving birth to Katryn) I've come to know what I like and don't like about a nurse. I liked this one, and I wanted her to stay with me.

It was a very surreal experience, I think I had emotionally detached myself from everything. Which is probably a good thing, because there was a lot going on.

They got me settled into a room fast and hooked back up to more monitors. there were probably 4 nurses doing different things, hooking up different IV's,getting my information, getting me settled in, and i think there were 2 OB doctors, doing an ultrasound and going through my records. They checked the baby's position, so they would know where he was in case of an emergency csection. They also had some anesthesiologists come in and take a look at me. They determined that I'm not made for general anesthetics. My throat, and checks just don't cut it, it would be pretty painful, and hard work to get the tube down my throat. They thought I'd be better off with a spinal if the case arose.

I might have cursed then. I do NOT like getting poked, and I do NOT like being contained by wires/cords. That was a large reason in my choice of a natural birth for Katryn. and I'm freaked out about the idea of knowing they're slicing me open. why would I want to be awake during that?!

anyway, the day finally slowed down. I probably met about 20 people, resident after resident kept coming in and introducing themselves, listening to my heart and lungs, taking my pulse, checking my reflexes, all that stuff. And I was still confined to the bed so I was calling the nurse every hour because I had to pee. At one point they did give me a catheter, not because I needed it, but they needed a urine sample and at that point, it was the easiest way to get a sample. I didn't care too much for that, and I'd be happy to never have one again. They described it as having a UTI, which I've had before, but I'd rather have a UTI than a catheter.

One of the things I remember about the room was there was a window in it. But the window didn't go outside. it was a window to the NICU, so if the baby came, they would open the window and everything they need was RIGHT THERE. i thought that was so awesome. Very reassuring for a mother.

after about 12 hours of monitoring, another steroid shot, more IV's, more residents, and other things I don't remember, they decided I was stable enough to be transferred to the other side, with the bedrest moms! yay!! so they got me a wheelchair, and some warm blankets to wrap up in. I couldn't stand, I could hardly move, I needed all the help they gave me to get into the wheelchair.

The mag I was on had a lot of side effects. Luckily I didn't get sick, which is apparently the most common one. But I couldn't focus my eyes, I had NO energy (that might have been from lack of food for about 24 hours though) and I just had that general fuzzy feeling going on. Matt said it was pretty bad, I was really out of it. Similar to when I take nyquil! I can't remember anything, and I can't focus on anything. He said it was worse than when I take nyquil though.

My mother came to visit, and brought some stuff. I think. like I said, I was pretty out of it. I remember being wheeled to the room and having them bring me a sandwich, which was the best sandwich I ever ate. at least it felt like it.

I remember a lady from the therapy coming and talking with me. She ended up bringing me a basket of things, like books, crosswords, little paint projects. They have a lot of things for the moms to do, to keep from going crazy I think.

And now I'm here, everyday, until the baby comes. And even then, after he comes I'll probably be here every day, just on the NICU side. The nurses have all been wonderful, and there's a nice window in the room that looks into another building. :) Matt has been able to take sick/vacation time, and go on Family Medical Leave so he's able to stay here with me. I'm so luck to be able to have him here, I don't know how the other moms do it without someone here. My parents and Matt's parents are taking turns watching Katryn and the dogs. My parents watch Katryn and Moya during the day, and they stay at Matt's parents for the weekends and nights.

and that was just day TWO. As of now, I've been on bedrest for 17 days, and I'm hoping to make it 55 more days. That will put me at 34 weeks, which usually at that point, it's better for the baby to be in the NICU than in me any longer.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

My new Home

I have a new home, for hopefully at least 62 more days. The hospital. Yup, it happened! and they're not letting me go anyway. Here's the story, and as an FYI, like all things involving pregnancy and the 'perks' of pregnancy, there may be some details that you as a reader will think "wow, I really didn't want to know that. . ." since I will be mentioning the area the baby is growing, and where the baby will be coming out of, but this is for my records anyway, since I don't have a journal here with me to write it down.

You have been fairly warned. :)

the last thursday in January, I thought my water had started leaking, but after a little while, determined that it was just my SCH bleeding AGAIN. so I disregarded it. actually I called the midwife on call and she told me it was probably just extra discharge, because being pregnant does funny things like that to you. But the reason I determined it was my SCH was because it was the color of old blood, and the Peri had told me I had a lot of old blood hanging around. And I passed a clot, which I assumed was my SCH, so I was actually pretty excited. Except I kept leaking for a week. Finally I decided that I really AM leaking fluid that I shouldn't be leaking and called my midwives to set up an appointment.

They got me in right away and Abby checked me out. I like when she's the midwife I see, because she delivered Katryn and was so helpful it letting me have the natural birth I wanted. anyway, I explained to her what had been happening for the past week, she measured my belly, which was right on, listened to the heartbeat, which was perfect and checked my cervix, which was completely closed still (thank heavens!) She also took a few tests that can determine if it is amniotic fluid leaking out. Another one of the tests checks to see if you're going to go into labor in the next two weeks. That test checks for the presence of the 'glue' keeping the placenta attached. The first test was positive, but I never found out the results of the second test.

She also sent me in for an ultrasound, where they checked the fluid level, and measured a few other things, like the tummy, brain, and an arm or leg, just to see how things were growing. After I get back to the room, Matt showed up. He had dropped me off, and then went and dropped the dogs and Katryn off at my parents. I'm so glad he made it when he did!

Abby came back with the head OB. a lot of what he said did go over my head, but I have been doing enough research because of all my complications that I knew what was going to happen. He told me that what we had was a VERY serious problem. I was one day shy of 24 weeks and I had basically no amniotic fluid left.

24 weeks is a very important landmark in pregnancy. That's considered viability, the point at which doctors will activity try to save your baby if you deliver. Before then, there really isn't much they can do. Even at 24 weeks there's not a lot they can do, but they work a lot harder.

The doctor said some more things, but the gist of it was "You are now our patient, and you need to go straight to labor and delivery".

and we walked out the door. It was about this point that I lost it. This pregnancy has been such a trial for me, and it seems like every other day there's some other concern about the baby. I just want a healthy pregnancy, like I had with Katryn. Starts with me thinking I'm miscarrying when I started spotting at like 7 weeks, to the first gush of blood at 10 weeks and going to the ER, to being diagnosed with a probable miscarriage coming, then the SCH, and spontaneously gushing blood and the most akward times, just to rush to the doctors and hear that reasurring heartbeat. To be told I was most likely pregnant with twins, but for some reason one didn't develop, that the baby's cord is probably implanted in the wrong spot and the baby isn't getting a lot of nutrients and will be a small baby, that there might be genetic defeats, and now that this baby might be coming anyday and come have very serious long term problems from being born too early. It was just too much to take, I had finally reached my emotional limit. Everything had been out of my hands the entire time. I knew that, and that's what made it even harder. There was nothing I could have done about any of it anyway!!

We stopped by my parents house before going to the hospital where my dad and matt gave me a blessing of comfort. It was much needed, and calmed me down. I didn't have the fear that had been so prevalent. I was and still am concerned about everything, but not scared. Which was good considering what was going to come.

We headed to the hospital, where they quickly checked me in and had me change into a gown. of course, right then I had a little leak which made everyone jump into action. I was given an IV with fluids, started on magnesium sulfate and given a steroid shot in my butt. yeah, I felt like I was a little kid again. The mag is supposed to stop labor (which I wasn't having) as well as help the baby's brain develop. The steroid shot helps the baby's lungs develop. They also started antibiotics to make sure neither me OR the baby would get an infection. Once the water breaks, the risk of infection gets higher. And they wanted to make sure that in case it was an infection that CAUSED the water the break they took care of it. They hooked up the heart monitor for the baby, and the contraction monitor for me on my belly. They also gave me a blood pressure cuff that checked my B/P about every 5-10 minutes, a pulse monitor on my finger, and leg cuffs that inflate and deflate so I don't get clots in my legs. They wouldn't let me leave the bed for anything. I mean ANYTHING. I had to call the nurse when I needed to use the bathroom, and she helped me get into a bedpan. Yeah, once you're pregnant at the hospital, modesty kind of goes out the window. . . .

The OB on call for my doctors office came and talked with me a for little. mostly told me the same thing the OB at the office told me, but told me the statistics. Statistics have never been on my side, so I didn't really want to hear them. Once the water breaks, 30% of people deliver within 24 hours, 30% within 2 weeks, and everyone else goes indefinitely. I was still in that 2 week period. He also explained that if they had to do an emergency c-section, it would be different than your standard c-section. They have to cut the opposite way, and I would ALWAYS have to have c-section for other pregnancies. He then told me though, that the hospital I was at is not equipped to handle a 24-weeker, and if I did have the baby, they would stabilize him, and life-flight him to Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake. And then they let me be for a while.

matt left for the night, went to his parents to put Katryn to bed and they gave me a sleeping pill. They still come to check on me every few hours, plus with the IV I was on, I needed the nurse to help me with a bedpan all the time too. And I was still leaking fluid. It was a LONG day, and LONG night. But the sleeping pill worked!

And that was Thursday, Feb 4th. Friday will come later.