I dislike death. I don't hate it, because I understand it, and the importance of it. But I don't like it.
I have always been an animal person, even growing up, my sister would be watching me, and come running inside to get my mom because I went after a creature walking down the street. I've always wanted pets. I got Indy when I was living in an apartment that does not allow pets, and i don't regret it. I've always wanted to work with pets, and I think that I would drop any job that I had to work with pets. In college I was planning on becoming a vet, until I saw all the math and science that I've never been good at, and well, I'm quite lazy, so I became an english major.
Yesterday though, I realized more clearly why I couldn't be a vet, why I couldn't work with sick, injured, dying animals. I couldn't handle it emotionally. When it comes to animals, I'm a very emotional person. "Marley and Me", one of my favorite books about life and love with the worlds worst dog made me cry. and not just a few tears. I was full out sobbing when Marley died.
I was walking Indy one night about year and 1/2, to 2 years ago, and I saw a neighbors dog get hit by a car. Twice. I heard the dog's cry of pain for one moment, then it got hit by the second tire and then the second car. I cried, and I knew nothing of this dog, save it be that it got hit, and it was my neighbors.
I get choked up when I see a dog running down the street, in fear that it's going to get hit by a car, or worse, I will see it get him by a car. I can't help but picture that it could be my escape artist puppy someday.
And now, captain jax's two dogs have both died. Kimo, the male, died on the first. Even though we were expecting it, had actually planned to put him down the next day if he didn't die in his sleep that night, it was still very hard for everyone. He was very old, and in a lot of pain.
I always thought that whoever went first out of the two, kimo or keta, that the other wouldn't be very far behind. but I didn't think that it would be two weeks, I thought a few months, about 6 months later the other would die. Keta just went in to get some teeth pulled that were bothering her, she wasn't able to eat. They pulled 11 teeth, and put her on an IV to leave her there overnight. The vet came in and checked on the dogs staying the night around midnight, and she was doing fine. Came in the next morning and she had died.
It's hard, and I don't like it, and I'm glad I don't have to deal with it very often. I joke that I would love to have one of each. lots of dog running all over the place, it would make me very happy. but when they have to die, that makes it hard. and when they die close together, that makes it even harder.
And so we'll stick with one for a while now, because Indy's small, and she should live for about 15 years, and if we got a second, it would be a bigger one, and it would die sooner, because bigger dogs just don't live as long, and they could possibly die near the same time, and I don't really want to go through this again.
Dogs really bring out the strongest emotions in me. This is was living like this does though.