Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Everybody scream your heart out!

"rooftops" Lost Prophets

Life is interesting, to say the least. Both of us working full time, and yet not having enough money to be able to do anything. I don't understand it. Granted we're not making that much more, but we've got to learn to cut back somewhere.

I myself have been frustrated with myself, my inablilites, my weakness, my faults. all these things that I believe i have control over, and yet I take no control to control them. or i try to control them and realize belately that I can have no effect on them, and thus hurt myself in the process.

married life is different than i thought. Surprisingly, I feel a little more lonely, it's that whole both of us working all the time thing. it seems to be that when I'm working, he's home, and when he's working I'm home, and the time we see each other is for about 2 hours in the morning, and a few in the evening, while we're busy doing other things. and I understand this, don't get me wrong, I know that why we don't see each other a lot, but it's still lonely to me, and I crave the friendships I used to have. But others seem to have given me up for dead lately. A few night ago, was the first time in about a month that we got together with other friends, not family, but actual friends, those we knew before marriage. And our other married couple, the ones that got hitched right after us, yeah, and they're having a honeymoon baby.

Life is funny that way, the way we fall apart and drift together, and I could put some silly metaphor in here, that we're waves that crash together and break in the great ocean of life, but i don't want to put you all through that.

We're planning on moving to Georgia (the state, not the country) come november and as much as i think it'll be great, and I'll enjoy, I'm worried about being even lonelier. I don't make friends that easy, and I'm actually quite, quite shy, even when I try not to be. It'll be an adventure, if nothing else. This is what living like this does