Tuesday, February 07, 2006

if only I could turn back time

Aqua "Turn back time"

Forgive me, for I have sinned, it has been over 2 months since my last blog posting.

The reason I'm writing now, is because something very strange occured a few days ago, last wednesday, Feb. 1st to be exact. My good friend, Flying Jeans, lost his older brother J. to a sudden and unexpected illness. J was the ripe age of 26, had been married for 3 years, had a 2 year old son, and just found out a few weeks previous that his wife was expecting again.

Even the family isn't sure how this happened so soon. He got sick, and then 72 hours later he was dead.

The reason I write this is because it hit me how important this life is. I have never been a funeral person, I don't understand all things, or even attempt to understand. The last funeral I went to, I sang as a 10 year old primary child, the one before, I was a 6 year old, who just wanted to play with the dog (but instead got chomped on). Captain Jax, however, is an expert, attending as least 2 funerals a year.

I digress. My point being, death hasn't ever come this close to me in years. Yes, it's come close, but never taken someone I know, someone I spent time with, someone who knew who I was when he saw me. Needless to say, it shook me up. J and his wife never went through the temple, but were making plans to be sealed. I had never realized how important some things are, the things we take for granted, how important it is to do the things we need to do in the order we're supposed to do them. It made me want to be a better person overall, it try harder in life, to be more repentant, and to remember that this life is more Christ's than mine, and I need to be doing the right thing to be able to stand before him and say "how wonderful it is to be in your presence again, what can I do on this side of the veil?"

I'm not sure the point I'm trying to make here, but i knew I needed to write about it. I needed to do something about it. The Lord does know what He's doing, there is no doubt in my mind, He's always taken care of me, even when I felt completely alone, He's set up the path that will lead me where He needs me. He's done the same in J's life, and the life of his family, and even though they haven't yet completed the things that might've been able to be completed early (it's not my place to pass judgement). I know that their lives were the way they were supposed to be, and the Lord will continue to set their paths for them, in this life and J's new life.

And now I'm going to be do my best to feel this close to the other side, a feeling I don't I've ever felt before, because I know this is what living like this does to a person