Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Sometimes it feels like I don't really know

(Title courtesy of Lost Prophets "Last Train Home" which I heard on the way home from school today--and I'll now start naming the songs I use in my titles so ya'll go listen to my favs)

My puppy rocks. When she's not putting holes in my clothes with those needle-esque teeth of hers. today I came home in between classes (I have a yoga at 8am, which is so early, it's going to be worse when it's dark still--and then institute right after, then a break until noon) and took a wonderful nap, and Indy, the crazy little pup, would come snuggle under my arm as I'm laying on the floor (which has improved from her tackling my face) stretch out long against me and then wiggle herself up and try to lick my nose. trust me, it makes for a difficult time sleeping! eventually she found her way out into the backyard and i was able to nap in peace.

so I've been thinking a little bit about asmond's most recent post about unwanted blessings, and dang it, I've been doing the same thing but I hadn't even realized. there have been some things lacking in my life, and that I've been wanting yet I haven't noticed that I'm getting them. I've been wanting to understand more about why someone can get a certain answer and I feel nothing, and we've been talking about revelation in all 3 of my institute classes these past few weeks, and I've been learning the things I need to learn to help me understand how it all works out. I've been wondering about the Lord's timing and why I'm not getting what I think I need, and I get that answered this morning in institute. I've been wanting to join a new circle of friends (it's a little hard when the majority of my friends are also friends with captain jax, and I don't want to have to make them choose who to hang out with since we can't hang out together) and asmond is getting me out to meet new people, with the poetasters, and now blue-beta (if he can find someone willing to sponser me) that could certainly create new friends for me, which is much needed. I feel like my eyes have been opened a bit more, so now I can start seeing what else there is that I've needed and been given, especially those things that I haven't realized I've needed. maybe this is what living like this does

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