Friday, September 09, 2005

it hurts when you disapproved all along

I love my Dad, I really do, he's an amazing man, and has done so much for me. I'm not so happy with him right now. I have a puppy, the sweetest little punk of a puppy ever. this puppy is what helped me make it through this summer, when I was lonely, when I needed someone/thing to talk to, when I just wanted to know that someone loved me, I had my puppy. She didn't say "Guess what happened to me?" when I walked in the door, after a crappy day, nor ignore me when tried to tell what happened to me. (gee, I sound a little selfish right now. . .)
point being, I love my puppy, and although at times, because of my situation being a college student, and not sure of where I could be living in 6 months, and working all the time, or going to school, I sometimes think it was too early to get this dog. But I don't regret it at all.
here's why I'm mad at my dad. and I'll try to keep this at the most objective point of view I can manage. I don't think my dad has EVER used my dog's real name, which is Indy, it's always been "dog", "dumb-dog", "rat", "rat-dog", "neurotic-dog", and probably more that I can't think of right now. and I honestly feel like he does it on purpose too! Our dog, really his dog, died last summer. We had her for about 15 years. At least. she was an old dog, and it was her time for sure. well, he wants a dog, he really does, but with being gone all summer, he knew there was no way that he could get one. So I get one, because I haven't really ever known life without a dog. Well, Indy's a puppy, she hasn't learned everything yet, she still pees in the house (although very rarely now) she chews things she shouldn't, she nibbles your fingers (she is teething still), doesn't listen always when you tell her to come, or sit, or no.
But she's a puppy!!! she's not even 5 months old yet!! I don't know how he can expect her to know everything and act perfectly like our last dog did. that one was of his big complaints today--Indy's bigger than Chisia (our last dog) was. WELL DUH!!!! they're not even close to being the same breed! it's getting really frustrating, and he's making threats to make her an outside dog permenantly, because the one time he let her out of her crate, and he didn't take her outside to pee, so of course--right on the carpet. which I can understand, because she has to relieve herself somewhere since she wasn't let outside. so who's fault is it? the 'dumb dog' of course.
Indy is getting trained, she can now sit, lay down, and she's learning not to bite, or jump on people. She's getting there. I'd say for a dog of about 5 months, she's doing quite well. But I think it all boils down to the idea that she's not my dad's dog. She's my dog, and she'd rather come see me than him. I think it makes him think I'm trying to replace Chisia, which I could never do, she was amazing dog. but Indy is my dog, and when he belittles her, I feel like he's taking it directly to me. he insults her, and it's underlaid to me. I almost feel like he's waiting for me to do something, and talk back to him, so he can get mad at me for what ever. Now that I'm not dating captainjax, he has to have something to be annoyed with.
anyway, that was my passive-aggressive side exploding after having it all pent up for a few weeks. arg, this is was living like this does!

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